time for some reflectiveness.  Oh man it’s been a tough 3 months back from abroad and back in Novermeber.  Although time seems to go faster as you are younger, my days are longer than ever and the amount of work that I do would even surprise my 25 year old-energetic self.

the sacrifice of my favorite hobbies in the pursuit of a favorable marks on paper is truly showing its darkest colors now.  weeks of working without skating, singing, playing music, speaking other languages, expressing myself artistically

I’m hungry.   I’m hungry for more to life.  The research for my master degree is incredible and my brain is fuller than ever with knowledge.  I couldn’t be happier with the amount of knowledge i’ve obtained recently.  I ache for creative and artistic expression.   

Finally done taking vacations

After a summer of traveling Europe I got to go home to Souther California and I got to rest…NOT!!! 

Going back home is a lot of work seeing old friends and doing household work for my mom. It’s a busy time going home. I was there for 10 days and I still only saw many people only once. It’s not like high school or university where you can see friends everyday.

Now that its over I am home in my new home in Oakland. Without a new city to explore or a structured routine given to me by an employer, I have all the time in the world until school starts. A younger me would spend all the time smoking weed and watching cartoons but to me right now there is more to life than that; reading, practicing Spanish, French, playing ukulele, singing… 

With all our extra free time we must practice something to better ourselves.

I’ll save the weed and cartoons for monday ;)

When we ask for someone’s opinion on a controversial topic we are really asking them which formulation of media have you been exposed to that’s created your biased opinion.

if there really is a correct answer to a controversial topic, it doesn’t matter which media it is we are exposed to, it matters how we respond to the media that we’ve been exposed to.

Nude beach

2 years of hard work and now I’m chilling on a nude beach in Spain with a beer

Awwwww yeah

4/4 days in Bulgaria, tomorrow on a 36 hour drive to Spain to meet up with my primo

I may have fallen in love. Some people would say i wasn’t in love, and how would they know that? They would say because I’m not sure. If I were in love it would be a feeling of certainty.  What they don’t realize is that it’s human to doubt things that are real because they may change the way you think and change who you are after you believe it.  If that love is real, all the more reason to be afraid of it because it could lead to pain.

What I’m certain of is that we had the best week of hanging out, moving fast, and moving slow.  We were opposite winds traveling west and the other traveling east that met in the city where east meets west.

I think she may have been the embodiment of many of my fears and loves.  I not only felt happiness but I also felt fire in life.  Someone who could keep me tethered to this world and caring about it. But I still needed to be more.  

I could have abandoned my travels and gone with her. Or I could have asked her to travel with me.  We had a future goal of destination for ourselves prior to meeting.  Any traveler would be insane not to think that they could find a love during aimless traveling.  But the part of us that loved the other so much was that we were extroverted introverts.  We liked that we liked to be alone. We liked that the other had ambitions and goals was set to achieve them.  And we will grow into new people after our travels.  

We left in hopes to see again and if I get the chance I would do things just a little differently, a little less hesitation and more action.

<3

The energy of the year has ben gathering for this last 2 weeks. The students are anxious to let go of all the rules they have been more or less ‘following’.  The teachers have had a year of excessive workloads consisting of after school tutoring, covered classes, hallway duties, and exam prep work.  

No one is more anxious to finish the school year than the teachers. This year as opposed to last year had so much change in management that the steps of bureaucracy and organization have faded.  Management completes plans at the last minute leaving the workers (teachers) to work harder in order to make up for that time lost whilst waiting.  If I have ever felt like I work in a factory, this is the year.

To see my students from 5th grade and 6th grade grow as 6th and 7th graders was an invaluable experience.  They have become self aware, to some extent, about the world around them. Others have become more aloof and detached from the realities of the world and become involved in the instant gratification of others.  This leads me to fear for their future. What kinds of behavior will they develop in the 7th and 8th grade.

Looking back at my own past, I have friends who have died through drug use and accidents. Some have been jailed or been raped and I can not fathom that the same nightmares may plague the futures of my students.  I have offered all the help that I can and hope to teach my students the spirit of law and order rather than the strict word.

I’ve taught this book 8 times. 

Although I did not enjoy it as an adolescent I enjoy it so much more as an adult. The chapter where buck pulls the sled out of ice with the power of love for John Thornton nearly makes me cry…every time.

Don’t let your students see you cry

Now the weekends are filled with goodbyes to the few true friends I’ve made in this country.  I don’t long for another country, I long to get out of this one because of the recent government events that affect the economy.

At this rate I can no longer support myself on the falling value of the currency.  Luckily I had bought my ticket in advanced with the anticipation that this may happen.  

I have been reading so much now that I end up picking up more books before I finish the old ones. 

Treasure Island (in Spanish)

La Sombra del Viento (obviously)

Sherlock Holmes

The Little Prince (in Spanish)

Goals to finish before I leave Turkey (2 weeks)

Finish 3 Spanish grammar books 

-Book 1 Finished 98/98 

-Book 2 finished 30/62

-Book 3 240/320

Update resume before August

-done

Finish sherlock holmes part 1 complete series

-780/1124